Every mom needs a good laugh because being a mom is really hard work. It’s a 24/7 job and you’re always on call. While laughter can’t cure serious ailments, it has so many good short and long term benefits to your health. So when you’re stressed and need some laughter, read these funny motherhood quotes for belly laughs.
Funny Motherhood Quotes
1. “I’m unsure when my going to the bathroom turned into a family meeting, but I should definitely contact HR. Oh wait, that’s me.” – Jennifer Betts
2. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says keep away from children.” – Susan Savannah
3. “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon
4. “I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.” – Readersdigest.com
5. “There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or ask your kids not to do it.” – Malcolm Kushner
6. “Why don’t kids understand that their nap are not for them, but for us?” – Alyson Hannigan
7. “Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.” – Kelly Oxford
8. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
9. “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn’t finish.” – Carrie underwood
10. “Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Ed Asner
11. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
12. “Is there any way to file a temporary restraining against a toddler? Just like 24 hours, maybe. 2 days tops. Asking for a friend…” – Just Surviving Motherhood
13. “I used to have functioning brain cells but I traded them in for children.” – Unknown
14. “It’s not easy being a mother. It it were easy, fathers would do it.” – The Golden Girls
15. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck
I hope you enjoyed these 15 funny motherhood quotes.
For inspirational motherhood quotes click here.
Star Harford
August 17, 2021 at 9:31 amHaha brilliant. Thanks for making me laugh – I needed this today! Motherhood is awesome but most of these ring true!
Always lovin' Mama
August 17, 2021 at 9:59 amI’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!
Barbie
August 18, 2021 at 3:28 amI like all the quotes, especially the no. 3, 4, 8, and 10 haha that’s true for me. Thank you for sharing good vibes.
Dominique
August 17, 2021 at 7:21 pmVery funny! And sadly I can relate to each of them — at different times. We also are looking to foster so we may be wading back in soon! I will remember these so I can laugh when it gets crazy!
Risa Quejada Lopez
August 18, 2021 at 1:49 amI can’t stop myself from laughing!
Renata Green
August 18, 2021 at 1:41 pmI love these quotes. After having raised a child I earned the right to have a good laugh.
Cynthia Nicoletti
August 18, 2021 at 1:52 pmHahah love this post, and so true to. I want my children to have it all.
Always lovin' Mama
August 18, 2021 at 7:55 pmThanks. Glad you stopped by.
Clarice
August 18, 2021 at 6:44 pmThis definitely made my day! Thank you for sharing these funny quotes. The one from Reese Witherspoon is my favorite. LOL
Always lovin' Mama
August 18, 2021 at 7:55 pmI’m happy that you enjoyed them. Thanks for stopping by.
siennylovesdrawing
August 19, 2021 at 2:16 amLove this interesting read of all the funny quotes, thanks for this lovely sharing . Cheers, siennylovesdrawing
Always lovin' Mama
August 19, 2021 at 9:01 amThanks so much for stopping by.
Kenneth
August 19, 2021 at 12:49 pmSuper funny, love them all! Thanks for sharing, my wife liked it so much 🙂
Always lovin' Mama
August 19, 2021 at 5:27 pmGlad you enjoyed. Thanks for visiting.
Always lovin' Mama
August 22, 2021 at 6:11 pmThanks for visiting.
aisasami
August 22, 2021 at 12:54 pmI have to share these with my mom. I bet she would get a kick out of these!
Always lovin' Mama
August 22, 2021 at 6:10 pmPlease do! Thanks for visiting.
Trema
October 1, 2021 at 12:53 pmLOL, I love it! If you weren’t a sarcastic comic before motherhood, you will be now!
Always lovin' Mama
October 4, 2021 at 8:13 amSo true! Thanks for reading.
Debbie
November 5, 2021 at 2:53 pmToo funny! I love these. This made my day. Thanks for sharing.
Always lovin' Mama
November 5, 2021 at 5:21 pmYou’re welcome!
Jodie the Mom
January 3, 2022 at 3:25 pmThese are hilarious and so true.
Always lovin' Mama
January 7, 2022 at 12:22 amGlad you had a laugh!
Vi-Zanne
March 25, 2022 at 1:40 pmSo funny! I can relate to Carrie Underwood’s quote – my diet is mainly made up of my kids’ leftover!