Make Mindful Parenting Work for You

What is Mindful Parenting?

Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment and having no judgment toward that present moment or experience. So how is this integrated into parenting?

Mindfulness is an aspect of behavioral therapy, and it is very beneficial for anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and even relationship problems. You’re paying attention to what’s going on in your body, mind, and the environment around you. It enables you to have more feelings of gratitude.

Mindful parenting can also make you aware of how you feel about your child and how their responses make you feel. By questioning this, you can work on figuring out why you may get frustrated with them for not having patience or not being kind to their siblings. The obvious may be that those behaviors are undesirable, but figuring out why you have a reaction and feel a certain way can be helpful by using mindfulness.

How Does Mindful Parenting Help Your Child?

You can teach your children positive affirmations, which remind them who they are, what they can accomplish, and why they are unique. I find that meditation and deep breathing are great ways to teach mindfulness. Meditation helps you relax your body, focus on the present, and not worry about anything else. I use meditation apps with my kids, such as “Mo” or “Insight Timer,” to let them listen to meditations, and I do it with them.

Deep breathing teaches you to focus on something within yourself instead of the events going on around you. This technique helps create mindfulness within you, and it also tells your body to calm itself down, making it easier for you to be mindful about the present rather than anxious about the future.

Modeling mindfulness is very helpful in teaching your children how you want them to be aware of how they act, think, and feel. One of the many ways to raise a mindful child is by teaching them acceptance for themselves and others. When they are okay with how they think or feel, they can endure it and not beat themselves up for feeling that way.

For example, if a child feels angry and has guilt because they felt angry, they are not allowing acceptance to make them feel human, and they will feel uncomfortable. More important is that they gain control of how they respond based on that feeling they have.

Learning empathy can help a child be more mindful of how others may feel. For example, being empathetic can make them more aware when they are playing with their friends and their friend wants something of theirs; mindfulness would help them remember to empathize and put themselves in their friend’s shoes.

Mindful Parenting Strategies

A technique that therapists use is called mindfulness-based stress reduction, which focuses on the fact that the stress we cause ourselves is from a lack of satisfaction with the current situation. Essentially we are so focused on the next thing or what we are afraid may or may not happen that it robs us of our joy in the present.

Parents can integrate this into their daily lives and then model it for their children by utilizing mindfulness and even grounding techniques. For example, teaching your child to close their eyes and take a deep breath when they feel anxious. Next, listen to what is around them, notice what they currently think, smell, and taste, and then open their eyes and describe what they see.

Closing their eyes initially, in my opinion, helps them not to be as distracted by what is in front of them and allows them to picture in their mind what senses they think and feel. Having their eyes open is essentially a distraction that helps bring them or you back to the present moment.

Adding gratitude as the next step can help you and your child focus on what they are thankful for in the present moment. Teaching them that even though we have goals and things we want in life, we have a choice to enjoy the present. We can be aware of how we think and feel and not judge ourselves but be more of a spectator and take notes on those thoughts and feelings. Explaining to them that we can separate ourselves from emotion and see that emotion as existing, but it does not control us because we are mindful of it.

How Can I Be More Mindful of My Role As A Parent?

Being mindful of how you feel and your beliefs and resolving your conflicts will help you be a better parent because you are not pushing your stress onto your child.

Also, learning the cognitive distortions or unhelpful beliefs you have that you may not be great at controlling, you are at least mindful of them and working on them. By being mindful of them, you are less likely to push this on your children.

How Often Do I Need To Do This?

It is beneficial to implement some form of mindfulness every day to remind yourself why the present is enjoyable. Then, even through hardship, we can grow and find joy in it.

Mindfulness-based stress reduction therapy is administered for 45 minutes daily, but that is with the help of mental health professionals.

Spending just five minutes per day in the morning and at night with your kids, teaching them how to be mindful can help them feel less anxious. It can also help them feel like they are more in control of their bodies, rather than anxious and scared of the feelings it creates.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is another way of being mindful but making changes; this is a treatment with a mental health professional who can administer psychotherapy.

There are many things we as parents can do to help our children navigate their thoughts and emotions. Such as teaching them self-compassion so that they can love themselves even when they are angry or jealous, and they can have an easier time gaining control over their emotions when they love themselves.

It may sound a little cheesy, but this is why it is essential to be mindful and focus on the little things like positive affirmations that remind us why we are worthy of love and respect. You teach your children to acknowledge these thoughts and feelings as just “thoughts and feelings.” They only have power over you if you let them, and by being mindful of them, you get your power back to not identify with being what their thoughts are.

“I am not what I think, my thoughts are just things that pop up in my mind, and I can choose to ignore them if they do not align with who I am.”

Summary

Overall there are multiple ways to implement mindful parenting into your everyday life. However, learning how to be aware of your surroundings and bring yourself back down from anxious feelings can help you as a parent be more mindful and then teach your children how to be. The key to mindful parenting is being aware of your environment and how it affects you and your children.

This post was written by Megan Santiago.

Author Bio: Megan Santiago is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor in training. She is the
owner and writer for Holistic-Momma.com, where she shares natural ways to cope with
your mental health along with therapist-recommended techniques to deal with stress,
anxiety and depression.

References: Corey, G. (2021). Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy. Cengage.